Semalam pergi Hi Seoul Festival, banyak negara yang take part dalam festival ni.Dapat makan makanan pelik2 diorang. Aku dapata rasa Nasi Beryani n terung berinitkan nasi dari Iraq dan kebab Pakistan. Kebab Pakistan ynag tak sedap sebab daging dia berbau dan tak masak. Sempat lg mengutuk saiz kebab yang kecil lalu kene tegur dengan Abang Pakistan yang paham bahasa Melayu. Terus muka jadi tebal setabal2nya.Rasa nak jadi Ostrich,kepala masuk dalam tanah,,huhuh..Yang bestnye booth Malaysia bersebelahan dengan booth dr Mongolia.Pihak penganjur sengaja nak "mengusik" nih.kuikuikui
Tengah2 malam ni la tetiba rasa perut lapar.Nasib baik ada tapau nasik dari dewan makan siang td.Bolehla makan dengan rendang Brahim sambil membuat report. JAwabnya xsiapla report aku..huhuhu(seperti di jangkakan).
Terkenang pada arwah adik yang baru shaja meninggal dunia hari tu. Dia memang tak suka masakan aku.Cam biasa kalau aku balik,aku jadi pembantu rumah.Memasak membantu ibu(cewah).Yes, my mom movement is quite slow.Kalau aku masak kari ke ayam masak lemak cili api,dia takkan makan.Sebab dia tak suka masakan berkuah, cuma makanan goreng2 sahaja. Sebab tu mak cakap,kalau nak masak ayam tinggalkan sikit sebab nak goreng untuk dia. Dan dia tak suka masakan aku sebab aku letak halia dalam masakan. Terus kene sound ngn dia. Lain kali jgn letak halia dan aku memekakkan telinga je..kuikuikui..Tiap kali terdengar bunyi motor RXZ mesti teringat dia. Last winter vacation hari tuh, dia nak sangat bawak aku naik motor dia.Nak aku bawak surelah aku tak reti motor sebesar tu. Aku jadi pembonceng kat belakang, rasa nak melayang je nyawa aku. Gilosss..nasib baik satu pusingan je.Tu pon cuak dah..Addoii..Dia beli motor tu guna duit dia sendiri.Mula2 mintak duit dekat Abah,tapi permintaan dia tidak diperkenankan.Lalu dia menoreh sendiri untuk beli motor RXZ YAMAHA dia tuh. Sekarang motor tu dekat Balai Polis Kuala Klawang. bahaguan depan punah,kebetulankereta BMW sebelah tu je,cuma tercalar sedikit je.Hmmm...
Selamat Hari Ibu kepada semua yang bergelar ibu.Tapi aku panggil ibu aku "emak'.So, Selamat Hari Emak !!!Emak dah berusia. Satu perkara yang aku tau pasal emak adalah emak aku tak pernah lihat ibunya yang melahirkan dia. Sebab meninggal melahirkan dia.I love u mom very much.Omma,nomu saranghae!!!My mom is very cool. Daripada maklumat yang aku dapat,semasa dapat berita psal kemalangan adik aku, mak mampu bersabar. Muka mak macam biasa. Memang mak takkan mengalir air mata depan kitorang. Tapi bila dalam bilik,terdengar esakkan emak sorang2.Harap2 sekarang semua dah ok.Semoga rohnya aman di sana ㅠㅠ
Sekian lama tak mengudate blog ni.Hmapir 1 tahun maybe?..hmm..lama gak dah tak update blog ni..Selalu blog ni lah selalu mencoret apa2 rasa patut di coret...Banak erkara erlau sejak kebelakang ni.Dah nak final year ni,banyak betul dugaan.Kene sabar bebanyak..
1)Sudah hampir 2 minggu pemergian adek lelaki nombor dua di sebabkan kemalangan jalan raya,and its happened during my midterm exam week.Terkejut pon ada, speechless pon ada. Hanya mampu berserah je. Dan kini kami tinggal berempat sahaja. Dia pergi lebih awal dari kami. So i decided to go back to Malaysia. Mahu pulang pada malam yang sama tapi takde flight malam ke Malaysia. Lastly, ambil tiket keesokan harinya pukul 11pagi dan sampai pukul 6 ptg di KLIA.Sampai di Jelebu pukul 730pm.Memang tak sempat tengok jenazah buat kali terakhir. Last time jumpa dia masa cuti musim sejuk bulan 2 tahun ni. Sempat menghulurkan duit RM 30 pada dia. Tak sangka,itu adalah pemberian terakhir untuk dia. Semoga rohnya aman di sana. Kes sekarang berada di mahkamah dan mungkin makan masa yang agak lama untu tahu keputusan perbicaraan. Yang salah harus di hukummm!!!
2)Beberapa hari selepas balik dari malaysia, adek lelaki no 1 sms dia kene buang kerja. Omg..simpati dengan dia. Tak tau nak buat camana. Takpelah,itu bukan rezeki dia.Maybe one day dia akan dapat kerja lebih baik dari sekarang.
3)Tak lama lagi kene siapkan dan hantar final year project otherwise aku tak dapat grad.Oh tidakkk..aku mesti grad jugak on time. Need go back to Malaysia as soon as possible.
Bunga-bunga kuning depan SKK.Tak payah pergi jeju..
A story worth sharing 4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child. There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket! Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation: "Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles.
One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..." At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed.
When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy. A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up. However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games.
I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy..... Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too! Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's Syawal, and its Raya time. Everywhere the Raya spirit is in every passer-by...Raya song and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called.
Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy. My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..." After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.... I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy.
My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash. And one of the letters broke my heart.... Dear Mummy, I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room.
I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear? After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife.... For the females with children: Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss.
Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious. For the married men: Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients. Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones. ： For those singles out there: Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.
Dapt jugak curi masa untuk mengepos entri yang aku akan merepek ni.Baru habes exam programming,soalan boleh tahan.Cukupla,lepas ni tak nak amek subjek programming.Memang tak berminat memeningkan kepala ni,kalo basic2 boleh lagi bila dah masuk part2 yang kene pusingkan kepala ni terasa malas la pulak.Cuaca hari ne betul2 membuatkan aku rindu dekat Malaysia.Sekarang ni tengah hujan,bila summer ni hujan galk betul turun.Tapi hujan dekat sini tidak sama dengan hujan di Malaysia sebabnya,hujan dekat sini mengandungu Sulfur,yeker?ye la kot sebab bila air bertakung serbuk2 warna kuning akan termendap.Kawan korea aku kata tu sulfur atau plumbum.Sebab tu lah first time aku terkena hujan dekat sini terus rasa pening kepala dan boleh demam.Sebab tu bila hujan,make sure ada payung...
Cakap pasal hujan ni,teringat zaman kanak2 dulu.Bila hujan turun je,kami adek beradek bermandi hujan.Kebetulan depan rumah ada saliran rumah,air mengalr dengan agak laju,pergi carik buku latihan yang lama2 tu buat kapal kertas,Lumba sapa paling laju.Main tengah2 basah.Ada sekali main sampai hujan berhenti.Buat empang la kononnya.Tahan air guna badan buat bentuk V.Hehe,tahan sampai air bertakung melimpah ruah.Zaman kecik2 apala tau,mak banyak kali suruh panggil balik tapi kerana kami ni kepala keras dari batu selamba main je.Lagi satu,bila hujan je katak2 banyak keluar,time kecik2 aku agak zalim dan jahat kat katak.(Along fobia dengan katak sampai skrg).
Nak kata ku ni berani dengan katak,bawak cangkul sekali takut2 katak tu membesar.Mak pernah cakap,jangandekat denan katak nnt katak kecing dekat mata boleh buta.Aku time tu percaya bulat2 kata mak.Punyalah nak berperang dengan katak time hujan,sanggup cari katak.
Sekian lama meninggalkan blog ni untuk sekian lamanya,rindu kembali untuk menghidupkan ia balik.Kali ni update blog guna laptop baru.Kenapa laptop baru?sebab desktop lama dah meletup enjinnya.Bukan apa,pagi tu nak onkan desktop tuh,POP bunyi dan asap kluar sekali.Cuak time tu takut2 berlaku litar pintas(cam pintar pintas plak),terus cabut plak.Cek dan hantar kedai,dia kata harddisk aku burn semua data aku dalam kom tu hilang macam gitu je.Sedih tak terkata sebab semua gambar aku dari mula aku sampai Korea sampai la pada saat ia meletup,segalanya ada dalam tuh.Nothing left except kerangka je.My god,sedih tak terkata.Dan ia meletuptepat2 dengan hari aku nak beli laptop baru ni.Pandai ia pilih masa untuk meletup.Apakan daya,yang pergi biarkan pergi,tapi aku geram dan terkilan gambar2 movie2yang aku download pergi begitu sahaja.Its ok,ada laptop baru.,ok relax,,,<walaupon geram>
Sudah setengah semester aku dia SKK,kesimpulannya oklah,standard U.Baru je habes midterm minggu lepas ,habes je exam terus pergi Hanyang menagih kasih saying.cewah…Semalam jugak survey tiket balik summer lepas summer class..KEcundang sebab tiket harga murah dah habes.Padan muka,sapa suruh tak book awal2..yela2 salah aku,bukan apa sebab nak tunggu jadual summer class bila habes.Tapi dah habes,tinggal yang mahal je,xdelah mahal kira beza sket 25% harga murah tu.Its ok,dah book terus bayar ye.
Kalaulah aku.. seekor burung.. akan aku terbang tinggi... tapi tak mungkin... tak mungkin... kerana aku adalah aku... seorang insan yang lemah..
Kalaulah aku.. seekor ikan... akan aku berenang di lautan dalam... tapi tak mungkin... tak mungkin... kerana aku adalah aku... seorang insan yang lemah...
Kalaulah aku... sekuntum bunga... akan aku hiasi dunia seindah yang mungkin... tapi tak mungkin... tak mungkin... kerana aku adalah aku... seorang insan yang lemah...
Kalaulah aku... Kalaulah aku... Kalaulah aku...
kelakar..kelakar... kalaulah aku...
Ahh mengarut semua itu... Yang harus dihadapi ialah realiti bukan fantasi....
Di dalam mentari terpercik misteri lambaian wajah umpama bidadari kucapai namamu tegak baiduri didalam lamunan kita menari mimpi pasti, datang dan pergi namun pepohon tetap teguh walau berbuah ranting rapuh teguh matlamat jiwa utuh disimbah racun tidakkan luruh.